


Woke Up in a Safe House Singing, “Honey, Let’s Get Married”

by grandfatherclock



Series: Half-Seconds at a Time [3]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Community: widojest love, F/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-25
Updated: 2019-10-25
Packaged: 2021-01-03 05:48:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21174440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grandfatherclock/pseuds/grandfatherclock
Summary: The half-seconds before you get married are always crucial. Caleb tries to make them count.





	Woke Up in a Safe House Singing, “Honey, Let’s Get Married”

**Author's Note:**

> The prompt is _engaged_. TW for a panic attack Caleb _feels_ ensuing and is able to stop before it ramps up.
> 
> The title is from _Let's Get Married_ by Bleachers!

_You are blue_.

Jester Lavorre stands in front of him, blinking quickly like she’s trying not to cry. Her lips are stretched in a smile though, painted soft and pretty and glittering against the perfect lights as they float like sunbeams trailing in the air, trailing at the _distance_. Her eyelids are painted this purple that blends into her smooth freckled skin, and Caleb’s heart kind of breaks at the way her jaw clenches, her eyes fierce on his like she’s trying to memorize this moment, memorize the way he must look in his smooth purple coat and tied back hair, his back straight as Caduceus reads their vows. She says, _I do_, her voice chirping, and the way the dress moves as she shifts in place makes him smile, it really does. She’s _fidgeting _and it’s so _endearing_—

_Yes, I am, and you are very nice and—_

His voice trembles around, _I do_. His Zemnian accent lilts over the Common, lilts over the translation of the Infernal as Marion Lavorre smiles approvingly from where she sits in the front row, a delicate napkin raised with her elegant hand to wipe the tears that spread over her lovely cheeks. Jester is staring at him with determination, and she’s _shaking_ a little, her shoulders _shake_ as he promises to cherish her forever, to always be faithful, to always be _there_ through the good and the bad, through the joy and the tragedy. His heart seizes, what is he _doing_ here, why did he think he could _do_ this? Something in his stomach _lurches_ as her smile widens, and he’s blinking back tears _too_.

_And a little stinky._

He counts to ten unevenly. 10-5-2-4-1-6-9-8-3-7. His mind can’t collapse in on itself when he’s counting _unevenly_, and he returns her smile, his shoulders starting to sink in. What felt like a prophecy just a moment ago smoothes out, and he tries not to feel fucking _embarrassed_ at the momentary fear that suddenly flared out at the way Jester’s dress has little designs of _snowflakes _on it, lacy snowflakes contrasting the brilliant blue—_you are blue_—of her skin. He watches her ribboned horns fondly, and Caduceus is smiling at the two of them, smiling as Caleb feels time slow down, hears the sensation of the book in Caduceus’ hands starting to close as he pushes the front and back cover together. Soon, soon it will be over, soon he will be _married._

_One of those things is true—_

He no longer smells like mud and shit. His coat is no longer waterlogged, and his hair is no longer muted in its colour from the dirt, no longer hiding the paleness of his face and blue eyes as he huddles into himself, arms crossed as he watches the floorboards in whichever room he enters. Caleb’s gait is confident as he takes one step forward, hand reaching out to rest on Jester’s waist, pulling her forward so _gently _as he feels her brace her back, bracing herself for how she is _inevitably _going to push _up _on her heels, push _up _in that way she gets when she’s aiming for his mouth with her searching lips. She’s so damn _short _and it’s so damn endearing. Jester, Jester, _Jester_, the lights are flaring as they come close and all he can think of is _Jester_. Her hands are reaching to thread through his hair.

_And you are blue._

He tilts his face carefully as she reaches up, her hand in his hair pulling him _down _until he’s curling over her, fingers on her sides tracing over the patterns of her beautiful wedding dress. She didn’t allow him to see before, said it wouldn’t be _romantic_, and when she wrinkled her nose at him as he sighed in faux disappointment, she threw a ribbon at him. His heart _didn’t _break then, it hasn’t broken in a _while_, and she’s his _wife_ now, he is Caleb Lavorre and she is his _wife_. His wife is small and giggling and her breath is cool against his face, and his wife is _blue_.

_One of those things is true—_

He closes his eyes as they kiss, and sees from the half-second before his vision turns to black that she’s closing her eyes _too, _biting her lower lip in anticipation as she _whispers _his name like a prayer, like an enchantment, like one of her romantic heroes. Playfully, sighs through it like _Oskar_—life is still an adventure, after all this time life is still an adventure.

He knows what the adventure costs her.

_And you are very nice—_

He _slants _their lips against each other, and captures the sigh in his mouth, hand reaching up, up, _up _her waist until she’s flush against him, the cool hand of her ring on the hand on his cheek making him _blink_, blink and see _her_. He’s kissed Jester so often, each time fucking _incredible_, and this one is as brilliant as everything else about her. The lights flash _pink _through their kiss, and Jester tilts her head at him almost shyly. “Hey, _Cayleb_,” she giggles, and she’s biting her lower lip again. He stares, more overtly than he used to, and her flush on her cheek deepens. She’s so fucking _happy_, the trail of her tears on her cheeks are enchanting because she’s so fucking _happy _her little body can’t control it, can’t stop the joy from leaking out, and Caleb thinks about how his own brittle form is the same way. A caged creature under his skin weeping with joy. “I _love _you, Caleb Lavorre.”

_And you are blue_.

He kisses her again, and commits the sound of her delighted squeal to memory.


End file.
